We're currently looking for a new celebrity to be at the centre of constant allegations of heavy drug taking.

You must have a modicum of fame or talent, live in London and be on the celebrity circuit.

Applications from those with links to the music or fashion industry will be looked upon favourably. As will those with boyfriends who have a penchant for being arrested.

The job offers real career prospects. A previous employee went on to secure a clothing deal worth GBP3m. Another sold over 2.5m copies of her album and won five Grammy Awards.

We already have one candidate, who is at second interview stage. However we are not sure if this candidate has her father's permission, so we are still accepting applications.

Please note this is a high profile role. You will star in a hit internet video to be released on a Sunday, and will appear on the front cover of the tabloids many times a week during the course of your employment.

Fast track promotion is available to candidates who manage to get arrested. This will be rewarded with coverage on BBC and ITV's News at Ten, and speculative features in broadsheet publications.

This position is for a maximum of three years. Towards the end of your employment you can be guaranteed various TV documentaries involving former friends, colleagues and even family members discussing your ability to handle the said employment.

Candidates must also be prepared to travel. Particularly to the USA where you will be expected to stay to let the dust settle at various times.

If you feel this challenge is for you, please get in touch, or post a name of the person who you think is suitable for the job.

Start Date: ASAP