NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

BusinessBiscuit

Supermarkets to hide everything under the counter in new public health drive

heading off arterio-sclerosis and 'time-bomb' flatulenceThe Department of Health said the move was in response to evidence that everything promoted and sold in supermarkets can encourage adults and young people to lead unhealthy lifestyles.

Read more >



Banker learns everything would be better if he’d never been born

'Bedford Falls. Wallet Gains'Former Investment Banker, Henry F. Potter, was shocked to discover that life for everyone would be much, much better if he had simply never been born.

Read more >



‘Get more poor kids onto the Nice List or lose your monopoly’, Santa warned

there goes Christmas..Father Christmas has been threatened with the removal of his monopoly in the UK present distribution market following the publication of this year’s Naughty or Nice lists.

Read more >



One dead, two pregnant, five sacked in ‘best ever office Christmas party’

stationery cupboard fuller than everEmployees at an office supply firm in Leatherhead were celebrating today after their annual Christmas party topped their previous record for fatalities, colleague impregnation and on-the-spot dismissals.

Read more >



Rebekah Brooks to pay full costs of Leveson inquiry out of £10.8m payoff

because she's worth itFormer News International chief executive Rebekah Brooks has decided as a gesture of goodwill to pay for the entire costs of the inquiry into Culture, Practice and Ethics of the press led by Lord Leveson out of her £10.8million severance package from News International.

Read more >