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The news before it happens…

GreenBiscuit

David Cameron’s face ‘looming larger than ever’, say astronomers

public gazing in awe at his vastness‘Hanging ominously in the night sky with its inscrutable face turned towards the earth, it’s a beautiful but disturbing sight.’

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Scotland to gift two ‘NEDS’ to China in return for pandas

Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond today signed an historic agreement to send two giant Scottish neds (non-educated delinquents) to the People’s Republic of China.

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Tense UN climate talks reach agreement on next venue

talks went on until long after the bar had opened‘We were aware that we had a grave responsibility to act now and protect future generations of UN delegates from catastrophic summit venues.’

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Scientists discover snowflake identical to one which fell in 1963

The team of researchers, backed by a £20m grant, were able to make an identical match to the famous Bentley flake, photographed 47 years ago by amateur snowflakeologist Wilson Bentley.

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Whale gives birth listening to CD of humans shouting at each other


‘We’d tried the sound of gently lapping waves, birdsong and Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony and none of it was helping the mother whale in the slightest.’

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