NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

GodBiscuit

Pope gets bigger oar to stick into Middle East conflict

'Who said the Catholic church was up shit creek without a paddle, eh?'Levels of papal interference in international affairs is set to rise this week, with the unveiling in the Vatican of a bigger, more-eye catching papal oar, shortly to be stuck into the global argument about the Middle East.

Read more >



Pope invites Gok Wan to Vatican to ‘camp-up’ the clergy

Pope building up to appearing naked in front of pilgrims by All Saints DayAfter surprising the world with his relaxed views on homosexuality, Pope Francis has stepped-up his attempts to modernise the Catholic Church by enlisting the services of style guru Gok Wan in a bid to ‘makeover’ the Church’s hierarchy.

Read more >



Wonga.com offers to ‘save souls’

lie now, pray laterPayday loan company Wonga has hastily announced plans to diversify and offer unsecured ‘high-cost salvation’ in response to the Archbishop of Canterbury’s recent decision to offer Church of England payday loans.

Read more >



Infant Kardashian hailed as the Second Coming

You only have to look at the crib! God, it's awesome!As predicted by scritpure the event was known instantaneously and worldwide: ‘For as the lightning comes from the East and flashes to the West, so will a Reality TV star be born of the West’ [Matthew 24:27].

Read more >



European flooding latest: God tells Nigel Farage to build ark

2 by 2 policy 'under review'UKIP leader Nigel Farage today revealed that he has been instructed by God to build an ark in order to protect sane, anti-European thinkers like himself from the rising flood waters which God has sent to central Europe as a punishment for the incompetence and bureaucracy of the European Union…

Read more >