Teenage girls fear Pope Francis will ‘do a Bieber’ at inauguration mass
Thousands of Catholic teenage girls are ‘worried sick’ that Pope Francis will turn up late for his inauguration mass in Rome today.
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Black smoke from Sistine Chapel suggests cardinals smoking ‘some really strong shit’
Practised observers of the papal conclave, which got underway in Rome yesterday, have described the first black smoke to emerge from the Sistine Chapel chimney as ‘thick, potent, and smelling suspiciously of weed’.
Huge latex prayer dome to be erected in honour of departing Pope
The Vatican has announced that a huge latex prayer dome is to be erected in St Peter’s Square in honour of Pope Benedict XVI. It is expected to be the first of many throughout the world, and will offer millions of ordinary Catholics unmatched protection from the elements.
Pope planning ‘massive’ leaving do
Plans are said to be well underway at the Vatican to mark the departure today of Pope Benedict XVI with what Cardinals are excitedly describing as ‘an almighty piss-up’.
Stars out in force at this year’s Vatican Awards
It was a glittering evening at the Vatican last night as celebrity Cardinals from around the world gathered on the red carpet outside St Peter’s for the announcement of the coveted award of Best Pontiff 2013. But as always, it was the dresses that caused the biggest sensation.
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