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ISIS celebrates becoming top lazy political analogy

anyone with other views considered 'worse than Hitler'Islamic State, the militant Islamist group formerly known as ISIS, is celebrating the news that it has officially overtaken Nazi Germany as the standard comparative device for evil used on internet discussion forums.

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Elderly Bishops approaching death suddenly see ‘wiggle room’ with right to die

Despite the word of God being ‘absolute’, senior retired members of the clergy are increasingly of the opinion that the gospel is less a set of rules but more of a ‘guideline stroke cryptic crossword’. Specifically, the previously opposed Assisted Dying Bill is receiving ringing endorsements from ex-Bishops who are coincidently ‘feeling under the weather’, en route to a care home and nearing the ‘episcopal glue factory’.

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Bob Crow brings heaven out on strike

in the interests of my members...Heaven is staging a series of 24-hour stoppages after new arrival Bob Crow balloted angels over terms and conditions.

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Muslim shopkeeper refuses to stop selling alcohol to atheists

not for everyoneBaz Hassan, 37, owner of the Bearwood Booze off licence in Smethwick, has said he will not stop selling dangerous amounts of alcohol to atheists, agnostics and Christians, despite calls from leaders of the drinking community to respect cultural weaknesses of these vulnerable groups.

Although a non-drinker and vegetarian himself, Mr Hassan says he will continue to exploit unbelievers with heavily-promoted multibuy offers on strong lager, cheap vodka, sausage rolls and smoky bacon crisps. He certainly has no time for fellow Muslims who refuse to sell such products at all, who he accuses of exhibiting dangerous liberal tendencies.

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Pagans and Druids issue apology to Stonehenge labourers

Britain’s Pagan and Neo-Druidic communities have issued a joint statement finally apologising for the ‘unspeakable suffering and inconvenience’ caused by the building of Stonehenge in the second and third centuries BC.

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