GodBiscuit
Pope Francis is to stand down after the Vatican released figures which revealed a poorer than expected performance over the Christmas and New Year period. [read...]
With the tattered remains of festive tinsel, Bishops throughout the land will now be stored back in the loft alongside forgotten gym equipment, roofing felt and furtive porn stashes. Although inevitably, stray altar boys will still be discovered behind sofas as late as March. [read...]
People telling their colleague and Facebook friends that they are giving money to a charity this year in lieu of sending Christmas cards are ‘talking out of their holes’ say UK Charities. Yet in the last week Facebook feeds and work emails have been inundated with posts harping on about how Christmas cards are not being sent, [read...]
In the event of Biblical flooding or a Hard Brexit – whichever plague comes first – the UK Government will be devoting half of all its defences to the London area. The £3.7bn national flood budget can only fund one large ‘Croydon-based’ [read...]
In an official statement released this afternoon, God has apologised for the ongoing massacre of talent this year, blaming it on recent pressure to beef up Heaven’s on-site entertainment. The statement, published on the Vatican website, [read...]
