‘Please stop killing each other in my name, I don’t exist,’ clarifies God
‘I don’t care what you call me – Allah, God, Yahweh, Vishnu, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, whatever – It really doesn’t matter because I don’t exist’.
GodBiscuit
Popes agree to appear in 50th Anniversary episode of Dr Who
A feature-length film to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the iconic British sci-fi show, Dr Who, is due to star not one but two Popes.
Traditionally Popes sign an exclusivity deal when appearing in any syndicated show but the Vatican has made an exception for this landmark event.
Thatcher ‘risen from the dead’, claim Thatcherites
Just three days after her death, followers of Margaret Thatcher are claiming their leader has come back to life. Unconfirmed reports suggest she has appeared across Britain, still preaching the ‘good news’ of monetarism and a robust fiscal policy, and looking transfigured by the whole death experience.
Outrage in Calvary as emergency services took three days to respond
Angry residents are demanding an immediate investigation into the case of a crucified man with serious injuries to his hands, feet and side who had to wait three days for paramedics to arrive on the scene.
Unholy row as Benedict returns to reclaim the papacy in time for Easter
Pope Benedict strode into St Peter’s Square yesterday, fully refreshed after his Lenten sabbatical and announced that he was ready to take the reins of the papacy once more. With a fresh ear piercing, his skull cap set back on his head at a jaunty angle and a giggling nun on each arm, it was clear that the break from the burden of office had taken years off the former pontiff as he vigorously shoved aside pilgrims on his way back to the Vatican.
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