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Special Feature – The Pope: How His Retirement Affects You

Following the shock news of The Pope’s resignation, many people around the world face an uncertain future, as they are left wondering how the resignation affects them and what reaction they should have to the announcement. To assist the population at this difficult time, the Catholic Church has issued this special Papal Bulletin answering many of the questions that are commonly asked around this time…

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Catholics ‘despondent’ after Rafael Benitez accepts vacant Pope position

he maka da speech very niceWhite smoke billowing from the Vatican’s Fiorentina End chimney this morning signalled a shock turn of the managerial roundabout at Europe’s top institutions of football and religion.

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Bedroom cameras to monitor celibacy of gay bishops

paid for by generous donations in the collection plateSecurity cameras are being installed in the bedrooms of Britain’s openly gay bishops to ensure that they adhere to the strict new celibacy rules imposed by the Church of England.

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Catholic church split over ordination of women paedophiles

nothing even remotely phallocentric going on hereThe Catholic church is facing the most significant threat to its unity in generations as progressives call on the Vatican to advance the cause of gender equality and allow women paedophiles to be ordained as Catholic priests.

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Turkeys narrowly reject anti-Christmas motion

would vote again in ten years' time, but....The Turkeys of England have narrowly rejected a motion that promised to replace old-fashioned Christmas carnage with a bright, death-free 21st century future, due to strong opposition from traditional wings of the shed.

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