GodBiscuit
Former papal butler Paolo Gabriele has broken down in an Italian court and begged to be locked up, after receiving threats from the Vatican to ‘make that scene from Reservoir Dogs look like a Harvest f*cking Festival.’
Hasbro, makers of the famous ‘Guess Who?’ game, has had to increase security at all its offices and factories worldwide following threats of protests and violence. The complaints have come following its release of a special ‘Religious Icon’ edition where they have not included the prophet Muhammad.
Dr Williams accused the device, first rented from Rumbelows in 1987, of being ‘increasingly irrelevant’ in the corner of his lounge.
The Christian church was today accused of employing enhanced interrogation techniques as part of a barbaric ritual for inducting babies and young children into the ways of the faith.
Amish leaders are locked in vigorous debate after a member of their community accidentally reinvented the jet engine. Hand-woven and finished off with a short length of ribbon, the three-stage corn doll can produce 45,000 pounds of thrust in a manner not at odds with the Bible.
‘I was creating a cereal-based decoration, using traditional methods that God would approve of’, insisted Joseph Fisher, ‘but it was my turn to scrub the chickens, and I didn’t want to do it. To take up more time I added a couple of extra twists and a low-pressure bypass nozzle, and that’s when it span into life, using principles well beyond my comprehension.’
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