Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you…
The breakthrough came after his owner, Hannah Morrison, 43, had repeatedly assured him he was ‘a good boy, a good boy, a good good GOOD GOOD goooooood boy’.
31 year-old Patrick Clark became infuriated today by the extreme selfishness of his wife, Hannah, during the birth of their first child. He claimed that she was ‘totally self-absorbed’ and ‘unwilling to cooperate rationally’ throughout most of the high-intensity contractions.
Despite seven years of ill-considered wit, grammatical errors and excessive references to the Isle of Wight, Newsbiscuit.com has thoroughly failed to offend any terrorist organisation. While masked gunmen opened fire on French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo, the wags of Newsbiscuit continue to churn out ‘half-arsed puns’ with impunity.