The news written by you…


Isle of Wight in shock at school paintball rampage

For the second time in barely 20 years, the Isle of Wight is said to be a state of shock after a student went on a rampage with a paintball gun in his school. In what was believed to be a generationally motivated attack, 15-year old Tristan Horner, a student from St Saviour’s Academy in Sandown, moved from classroom to classroom asking students their age before shooting anyone in their prime. Calls are already being made for stronger restrictions on paintballing guns.

It has been alleged that Horner, a loner who disdained the cream teas and Scout camps beloved of his generation on the Isle, specifically targeted those two to four years younger than him, who he described on Twitter is ‘well annoying’, plus assorted others he regarded as ‘total gaylords’.

Read more >

Wallet error ends budding romance in middle-aged man’s head

feeling lost and emptyRonald Martindale, a 54-year-old chartered surveyor from Newport, Isle of Wight, has conceded defeat in his passive three-month attempt to impress Alice Waters, the pretty 22-year-old assistant at his High Street stationery store. This news emerged after Martindale had got as far as the till with a bottle of Tippex only to find he had left his wallet at home.

Read more >

Isle of Wight votes to keep same sex bingo

Electoral history has been made on the Isle of Wight, which has voted to keep same sex bingo, the only area in Europe to do so.

‘Our womenfolk have the right to enjoy the tensions and releases associated with the excitement of bingo in a safe women-only environment,’ said Councillor Anne Smith of Ventnor.

Read more >

Dozens feared inconvenienced as bikers clash outside Isle of Wight cafe

mods and rocking chairsPolice were called to the Blue Rinse Cafe on the seafront at Shanklin, Isle of Wight, yesterday to deal with an outbreak of the type of violence not seen since the mid-1960s. The trouble is understood to have erupted when a gang on mobility scooters aggressively took the last parking spaces. The number of those mildly put out is put at nine, but may rise.

Read more >

USA lifts embargo on Isle of Wight

fears that trade with America could mean culture disappears for goodIt’s an island famed for sunlit beaches, crumbling beauty and old fashioned classic cars with romantic names. Austin Allegros, Morris Oxfords, Hillman Imps – all ingeniously preserved by colourful locals. Now, after half a century of isolation, the United States has lifted the embargo that has kept the Isle of Wight cut off for over half a century.

Read more >