Cameron and Merkel talks end in night of unbridled passion
Talks between UK PM David Cameron and German Chancellor Angela Merkel over the Eurozone crisis spilled over into a night of furious lovemaking.
PoliticsBiscuit
Hague backs plans to restrict discussions that could reveal MPs’ intelligence
William Hague has backed plans to prevent intelligence being discussed in open conversation, particularly when it makes MPs look stupid. “As Secretary of Two Big, Important Things, I am ideally placed to reassure the public that I’m quite bright, really”, explained Hague to a crowd of journalists. “This new rule means you can’t ask me how I got this bucket stuck on my foot, or why I spent the first twenty minutes of this meeting in the broom cupboard.”
No hard feelings, says PM as third Tory rebel dies in mysterious circumstances
‘We have lost valued, albeit treacherous, colleagues,’ said David Cameron. ‘But I think we should avoid jumping to conclusions about how these unrelated and entirely accidental deaths occurred.’
Unemployment figures slashed as government deems motherhood a full-time job
In the latest bid to tackle soaring unemployment figures, the government has today announced the reclassification of motherhood as full-time employment.
It’s not unlike ‘Eric and Ernie’, insists Liam Fox
Defence Secretary Liam Fox has insisted that his relationship with friend Adam Werritty is completely innocent and similar to that of the comedians Morecambe and Wise.
“Eric and Ernie often shared a bed without anyone assuming there was something going on,” said Dr Fox, “and it’s exactly the same when Adam and I bunk down for the night. Often I’ll be reading important defence papers, wot I wrote, and he’ll just sit there quietly smoking his pipe.”
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