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Farage suggests ‘Casual Racism Fridays’ for UK businesses

Nigel Farage has outlined a new manifesto pledge requesting the support of British businesses to promote their new ‘Casual Racism Fridays’ campaign, which he hopes to see adopted by the vast majority of UK businesses before the next election.

‘For too long the hard-working English nationalist has had to keep his views and opinions to himself during the business week to avoid being, at best, labelled as insensitive and at worst caught up in corporate disciplinary procedures’, the UKIP leader said today.

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Home Office asks for advice on how to fix an inquiry

something slightly skewy found on Marsham StreetWith regret Home Secretary Theresa May has conceded that she has run out of ‘dodgy’ candidates to appoint to chair the Inquiry into Historic Child Abuse. Having lost Baroness Butler-Sloss and now Lord Mayor Fiona Woolf to conflicts of interest, Mrs May has been forced to ask betting syndicates, investment bankers and FIFA on how best ‘to rig’ an inquiry. Fortunately having managed to delay the proceedings for a further three months, it is hoped that those accused will have had ‘…plenty of time to shred any incriminating documents’.

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House of Commons ‘black-eyed babbling ghoul’ turns out to be Ed Miliband

The Phantom of the Parliament. 'A shadow of himself...'Former Home Secretary Johnson Alan Johnson revealed today that the spectral, black-eyed ‘lost soul’ seen haunting the corridors of the Palace of Westminster over the last few months is, in fact, Labour Party leader Ed Miliband.

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Milliband to try beer

it's more than half full!Labour leader Ed Milliband will try beer, allegedly for the first time, in a bid to woo a wider voter profile. ‘One thing I do like about this pint of beer thing is you get so much!’, said Milliband, dismissing rumours of him being an ‘ale virgin’ who is scared of public houses which might contain public opinion. ‘People are understandably concerned about people coming here from, well abroad, really, and the pressures that puts on our economy. So that makes beer something I have a lot of time for. A pint, that’s nearly an armful!’ joked the Labour leader.

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Emergency services rehearse for possible major outbreak of UKIP

almost every precaution taken to avoid UKIP, but is it too little too late?Every UK emergency service and the border agency took part in a coordinated exercise yesterday to test their readiness if the worst case scenario of UKIP spreading within the country and taking hold in the coming months actually happens.

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