NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

PoliticsBiscuit

Disgrunted voters create the ‘Independence from the UK Independence Party Party’

someone has to make a standAngry Rotherham residents have formed a new political party to free them from the influx of UKIP voters and councillors into their neighbourhood.

Read more >



Baboon resigns from UKIP

A baboon has resigned from UKIP following a fierce debate in the party over its future bananas policies.

Nigel – named after UKIP’s charismatic leader – indicated he was leaving the party which, he alleged, ‘has been taken over by a cartload of monkeys’.

The resignation follows revelations that two chimpanzees and an orang-utan had left the party amidst claims they had been fiddling their fyffes expenses and following remarks by a UKIP councillor that orang-utans ‘should go back to Pongo-Pongo land’.

Read more >



Cameron sparks outrage by posing for photos with ‘dead politician’

Photographs of David Cameron posing with a dead politician have been condemned as ‘heartless’ by family and friends of the deceased today. Some of the photographs clearly show Mr. Cameron laughing at the stricken body while others show him ignoring the lifeless corpse altogether.

Read more >



Political parties given go ahead for new Subliminal Election Broadcasts

public currently still thinking for themselvesFrom next year, the traditional Party Election Broadcast will be replaced by a blipvert that operates below the threshold of human conscious perception. ‘The old party political broadcasts suffered from a terrible flaw,’ explained Tory party strategist Lynton Crosby. ‘As soon as anyone realised they were watching one, they immediately switched over.’

Read more >



‘Debbie’s Law’ to reveal if partners have a history of ‘being boring’

A new law that could be passed within months will make men and women aware of previous instances of ‘dullness’ and ‘boring behaviour’ in their partners.

Read more >