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Eastleigh by-election candidate advised public to ‘stick deckchairs up their noses’

has some serious deckchair-related questions to answerEastleigh by-election candidate John O’Farrell is again at the centre of a row following revelations that he once incited members of the public to perform acts that could only end in severe injury, including extracting your own wisdom teeth, disembowelling yourself with spears and, perhaps most damningly, sticking a deckchair up your nose.

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Archaeologists hail unearthing of Chris Huhne’s moral compass

Artist's impression of how Mr Huhne might have looked ten years agoInvestigators have announced the discovery of the fragments of Chris Huhne’s moral compass under a car park in Southwark.

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Chancellor now promising to clamp down hard on soap dodgers

from a man who's still a bit wet behind the earsIn his latest bid to avoid catching tax evaders, or evade catching tax avoiders, nobody is quite sure which, George Osborne has unveiled his latest plans to cut down on ‘soap dodgers’.

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‘Now give us an in/out vote on the UK’, demands Middle England

a simple choiceBuoyed by the opportunity to make a knee-jerk exit from EU membership, voters in England are calling for the right to leave other well-established clubs that they’ve never had much interest in.

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Samantha Cameron to renegotiate terms of her marriage, offer kids in/out vote

wants to be in with Dave, but not run by DaveAfter years of being dictated to by her seemingly unaccountable husband, Samantha Cameron has announced her intention to renegotiate the terms of her marriage and, if the talks go well, will then offer her children an ‘in/out’ referendum.

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