NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

SportBiscuit

Man City to use Tevez as world’s most expensive door stop

if you want the door opening for you, you may have to ask someone elseThe club said that the player will also assume the role of boot cleaner, hot-dog hander-outer and training ground handyman.

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On-the-run Manchester United found cowering in Wythenshawe storm drain

nowhere else left to hide from the humiliationIt was an ignominous end to a brutal tyranny which has blighted the Premier League for over 42 years, but Manchester United have finally been caught cowering in a storm drain in Wythenshawe, the place of their birth.

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English Rugby team planning own version of Haka

hasn't put it away since he got thereThe English rugby team has surprised the rugby world again after confirming it will perform its own version of the Haka at the quarter final match against France.

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Rugby to end ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ and admit heterosexuals

rugger buggersThe International Rugby Board has finally agreed to lift the policy which has sought to bar openly-heterosexual players from the game.

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Boxing club defends cot-fighting event

the 'battle for the rattle'A sports club in Preston which charged adults £25 a ticket to watch a fight between two eighteen-month old boys has denied that the toddlers in question were being exploited.

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