http://www.newsbiscuit.com The news before it happens... Wed, 16 May 2012 22:55:17 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en The BBC has confirmed that it no longer intends to show programmes that appeal directly to men on BBC One or BBC Two, and will transfer any show with a glimmer of masculinity straight to rival channel 'Dave'. With male viewing figures falling as low as 8 during recent episodes of 'The Voice', the BBC hopes to free up their flagship channels for similarly uninclusive programmes. ]]> http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/05/16/bbc-confirms-plan-to-move-all-mens-programmes-to-dave/ http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/05/16/sir-alex-ferguson-complains-about-extra-time-at-dfs-sale/ http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/05/16/46376/ The World Hide-and-Seek Federation has taken the unprecedented step of handing a lifetime ban to US Navy SEAL Lance Johnson following an incident in Pakistan last week which led to the death of the then hide-and-seek world record holder, Osama bin Laden.]]> http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/05/16/us-navy-seal-banned-from-hide-and-seek-competitions-for-unsportsmanlike-conduct/ The Daily Mail has welcomed the new French president, Francois Hollande, with a lavish swearing-at ceremony to mark his first day in office. The ceremony, attended by a host of Mail dignitaries, was held in the newspaper's London HQ. Over a dozen figures gathered round a TV set broadcasting pictures of Mr Hollande live from the effete and decadent surroundings of the Elysee Palace, where he began his reign of left-wing terror this morning. ]]> http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/05/15/daily-mail-holds-swearing-at-ceremony-for-new-french-president/ http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/05/15/local-lothario-celebrates-eighth-full-year-of-paternity-leave/ http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/05/15/43000-mile-cab-ride-was-%e2%80%98shortcut%e2%80%99-claims-driver/ The rising price of muesli across the globe is proof that the international trade in this illicit breakfast cereal is finally 'in retreat' according to the UK's Serious Organised Crime Agency.]]> http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/05/15/authorities-%e2%80%98winning-the-war-on-muesli%e2%80%99/