http://www.newsbiscuit.com The news before it happens... Mon, 21 May 2012 11:00:16 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/05/21/camp-david-fracas-as-merkel-chins-cameron/ 'This is a major victory in our War on Prophylactics.']]> http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/05/21/catholic-customs-catch-man-smuggling-condoms-inside-massive-consignment-of-drugs/ Facebook’s recent much-trumpeted initial public offering was overshadowed today as shares in David Beckham, Inc. gained 23% on their first day of trading, valuing Beckham at over $200 billion. But while the Facebook IPO made many of its financial backers rich beyond their wildest dreams, many people around the world who own a piece of David Beckham accept that individual gains could be quite modest, as millions of Manchester United supporters and residents of Beckham’s native London will qualify for the new shares.]]> http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/05/20/david-beckham-%e2%80%98bigger-than-facebook%e2%80%99-in-soaraway-stock-market-debut/ http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/05/20/police-shun-new-wind-up-tazer/ The Guardian newspaper, which now supports the Liberal Democrats, and the long standing Tory-supporting Telegraph Group have had preliminary talks on a possible merger, it has been revealed. Looking to be the progressive media outlet of choice for the majority of the country, both are now thought to be seeking an efficient, well-led vehicle which will retain the confidence of the crucial newsagent market.]]> http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/05/20/24385/ Disabled slacker Dave Studley 32, has hit out at people who expect him to be an inspiration to others. Dave has been in a wheelchair since he was run over by a moped delivering him a pizza. ‘At first, after I got run down though I was getting loads of sympathy and people were happy to let me sit around the house playing hours and hours of World of Warcraft, it was brilliant’ he explained. However, Dave has noticed a change in people's attitudes recently, which he thinks is down to other disabled people performing inspirational feats. ‘Take that 16 year old who has just done a marathon on crutches’ he grumbled. ‘It's all very well raising loads of money for charity or whatever, but what they don't realise is that it increases the pressure on disabled people like me who really can't be bothered to do anything.’]]> http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/05/19/disabled-man-doesnt-want-to-be-an-inspiration/ http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/05/19/audi-driver-dtripped-of-car-for-%e2%80%98wantonly-courteous-driving%e2%80%99/ Former underwear model David Beckham has finally spoken out about the years of intense training and painstaking practice which he had to endure to finally establish himself as England's undisputed first-choice perfumier. ]]> http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/05/19/beckham-reveals-years-of-training-to-become-englands-first-choice-perfumier/