Social media addict, Billy Granite from Rochdale has decided to stop attempts to bring virtual interaction in to real life following a number of embarrassing incidents. His latest habit saw him sending out ‘analogue retweets’ of conversations he was having.
‘When he asked me what I thought of our boss by the water cooler, I was honest in my answer’ Sue Mackey, a colleague of Mr Granite told us. ‘What I didn’t expect was for him to shout across the office ‘retweet Sue; our boss is a bit of a cunt'’. Although most people have been able to laugh off his childlike verbal copying, his local Priest was charged with assault after he reacted to him ‘retweeting’ the whole of a friend’s funeral.
This is not his first attempt at bringing social media to the living. He failed in his mission to bring Facebook to the streets after being beaten up 12 times in 5 days for ’poking’ people on buses and running up to strangers shouting ’can we be friends’
Mr Granite has decided to give up copying his internet interactions outside of his darkened bedroom. ’I now realise that trying to ’follow’ celebrities in real life may be construed by some as stalking’ he told us. ‘Not only that, but it is a lot easier pretending to be a 15 year old girl when they can’t see your beard’