Since signing up to NewsBiscuit,
I've noticed hostility,
Shown towards some biscuit types,
Like Custard Cream and me.
We're not always that funny,
But let's be honest Chums,
It's fucking hard writing comedy,
When your hands are made of crumbs.
We make do what we're born with,
And we're getting used to it,
The world is still quite biscuitist,
And thinks all biscuits are shit.
But we don't want sympathetic stars,
(Which is lucky I suppose)
We just want equality,
Like everyone else knows.
Now I'm calling on all biscuiteers,
To join us in our cause,
Before committing biscuit abuse,
Take a moment to pause.
Think, next time you over-dunk,
And lose some digestive,
Don't just throw it down the plug hole,
But rescue him with a sieve.
So now I hope you realise,
Us biscuits are a team,
If you want funny, come to me,
For everything else, there's Custard Cream.