Discovery Channel UK admitted to running 'seriously low on ideas' today when they announced that ex-SAS survival expert Bear Grylls will parachute into Bradford tomorrow to begin filming episode one of the channel's third 'Born Survivor' series.
Landing in the city's notorious Holme Wood district, Grylls, armed only with a Northern English phrasebook, will enthusiastically jump and forward-roll to a local council office, where he will submit a council flat application form, before living off just £58.60 per-week over the period of one month. 'Pumped and seriously psyched' by the up-coming challenge, the ex-public school boy turned tough guy says he isn't fazed by criticisms, and will draw upon his experiences from his trip to Namibia last year to ensure he completes the challenge unscathed.
'I'm aware of the criticism we've received about us filming Bear in Bradford, but we've already done Patagonia, Sahara and the Amazon - so we needed to find somewhere proper rough where Bear can put his skills to the test', said Mark Connolly from Discovery.
Grylls has explained that his first week in Bradford will be spent sourcing locally available food and drink, like Space Invader crisps, Carlsberg Special Brew and a variety of kebabs. The Chief Scout of the Scouts Association will also be tasked with instructing viewers how to ride a bike whilst rolling a cigarette, safely microwave a Rustler's cheeseburger, and how to defend yourself when approached by unsavoury characters outside a Londis newsagents.
Bear was also quick to challenge claims that he won't be performing his own stunts on his latest challenge, insisting it will 'definitely be him' spectacularly rolling over the bonnet of a burnt out Ford Fiesta, and that a one-month B&B booking by a large camera crew in nearby village Thornton has 'absolutely nothing to do with him'.