The Lib-Dems will sensationally reposition its self today in Glasgow by re-launching itself as a Boy Band.
The Band will be known as “All Directions” in line with current party thinking and will feature Nick Clegg as lead singer who will now be know as Nik Kelgg, Danny Alexander as “The Funny one”, Alan Beth as “The Serious one”, Norman Baker is “The androgynous one”, Andrew Stunnel will be “The one who everybody questions how they got there and is only liked by the oddball-girl-in-form 5B, one”. Lord Steel will be the member of the band who left to become successful in their own right.Charles Kennedy will take on the Pete Best mantle by being thrown out of the band before they were famous, citing Boozical diffenrences, MP Jo Swinson will become the bands designated groupie.
The band will be managed by Vince Cable who will adopt a Simon Cowell / Svengali type role he gave delegates eagerly awaiting the announcement of the bands tour of key marginal seats, details of their new single, it will be “Stuck in the Middle with Ming” and not Madonna’s “True Blue” as widely believed, which is to be followed by an album entitled “Zero Hours”, its not known if the band will eventually pen any future songs as Klegg previous forrays into collaborative works has not been widely well recieved by both the voters and party alkie.
In an interview with the NME Cable said, “The Lib-Dems have lost the “X” Factor with the electorate, so by courting the adolescent soon-to-be voter, we are hoping they will be unaware of any past policies or principals when the next election rolls around”.