Local police in the Holy Land have confirmed that they have taken a young blonde haired boy into protective custody after concerns that the couple he was living with might not be his parents.
Following recent similar interventions in travelling communities in Greece and Ireland, it is thought that neighbours tipped off the authorities that the boy, known only as Child J, bore no physical resemblance to the man and lady who claimed to be his parents. Police chief Pontius Pilate told reporters ‘The boy was living in a flat above a carpentry business in Nazareth. The couple, who we will call Mary and Joseph, are still insisting that Child J is their son, even though he has blonde hair and pale skin and they both have dark hair and skin. We have requested a DNA test to try to get to the bottom of it, you know, like on Jeremy Kyle.’
Pilate also revealed that the couple’s story had lacked clarity under questioning. ‘First of all they claimed that the boy was genetically theirs, then they changed their story and said that Mary was his biological mother but that his biological father was God, although they still haven’t properly explained how that happened. Neither have they been able to provide details of where and when the baby was born. All they can tell us is that he was born some time in the year 1AD, somewhere in a stable in Bethlehem, which seems a little unlikely. They also claim not to be part of the travelling community, although they haven’t explained what they were doing in Bethlehem at the time they claim to have given birth to Child J – something to do with a census apparently.’
The results of the DNA test are not expected until its invention in 1984, and it is expected that the question of Child J’s parentage will continue to cause debate for at least the next 2,000 years.
(With apologies to Jesus H for casting aspersions)