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Posts Tagged ‘2012’

Donald Trump forms his own militia

vowing to restore democracy his own wayWith US gun sales at a record high following Barack Obama’s re-election, American businessman Donald Trump has confirmed that he’s bought most of them, formed his own constitutional militia, and is planning to overthrow the US government.

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Posted: Nov 12th, 2012
More from World News



Government ‘all set’ for fortnight of buried bad news

‘We tested the water by announcing a drop in GDP whilst everyone was talking about the start of the Olympics football tournament’, a source close to the cabinet announced during the opening ceremony.

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Posted: Jul 29th, 2012
More from News In Brief



Unemployed lorry driver, 54, launches Olympic selection bid

With a whopping six hours until the opening ceremony of London 2012, Dave Collins, a 54 year-old unemployed lorry driver, said he was ‘humbled’ to announce his intention to seek selection for Team GB.

‘The big problem was deciding which events to go for’, wheezed Collins. ‘I thought of the cycling road race but my bike’s stuck right at the back of my shed. There’s no point emptying it all out, adjusting the saddle and finding the pump, only to have Mark Cavendish come flying past in the last 200 metres.’

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Posted: Jul 27th, 2012
More from News In Brief



Father discovers hallway closed for two months for Summer Playtime

‘The water fight day filled up pretty quickly, but there are still some spaces left for the finger painting session.’

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Posted: Jul 27th, 2012
More from Sport, UK News



Olympic terror threat level reduced after al-Qaeda outsource terrorism to G4S

There were large sighs of relief today following news that security firm G4S have been put in charge of organising all of al-Qaeda’s terrorist activities for the 2012 Olympics.

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Posted: Jul 26th, 2012
More from Sport