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Posts Tagged ‘2012’

Olympic terror threat level reduced after al-Qaeda outsource terrorism to G4S

There were large sighs of relief today following news that security firm G4S have been put in charge of organising all of al-Qaeda’s terrorist activities for the 2012 Olympics.

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Posted: Jul 26th, 2012
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Police arrest man for using unofficial gesture at torch relay

‘Mr Drayton was arrested after being observed making unpatriotic movements with his right hand. He was waving his clenched fist vigorously up and down, in a manner calculated to cause considerable offence to our sponsors.’

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Posted: Jul 26th, 2012
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Dog walking to feature as demonstration sport at London Olympics

Events which will feature in the trial include the 1500m Hurried Early Morning Stroll, the Poo Retrieval Unclean Jerk and the 100m Arse Wipe Across the Hall Carpet.

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Posted: Jul 25th, 2012
More from News In Brief



Tom Daly forced to compete in his pants after forgetting kit yet again

British diving hopeful Tom Daly has been forced to compete in a warm-up event wearing only his pants, after forgetting his kit for the 138th consecutive time.

‘I’m really disappointed with Tom. He keeps promising me that he knows where his kit is and will bring it next time, but then he turns up trunkless time and again, and is forced to compete in his pants,’ complained Daly’s manager.

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Posted: Jul 25th, 2012
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Olympic Torch relay stuck in slow traffic behind tourist caravan in Cornwall

The Olympic Torch got off to a slow start on its tour of Britain after getting caught behind Brian and Cynthia Jennings on the A30 in West Cornwall.

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Posted: May 18th, 2012
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