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Donald Trump forms his own militia
Guns sales at record high; Trump bought most of them [read...]
Tagged 2012
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Government ‘all set’ for fortnight of buried bad news
‘We tested the water by announcing a drop in GDP whilst everyone was talking about the start of the Olympics football tournament’, a source close to the cabinet announced during the opening ceremony. [read...]
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Unemployed lorry driver, 54, launches Olympic selection bid
With a whopping six hours until the opening ceremony of London 2012, Dave Collins, a 54 year-old unemployed lorry driver, said he was ‘humbled’ to announce his intention to seek selection for Team GB.
‘The big problem was deciding which events to go for’, [read...]
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Olympic terror threat level reduced after al-Qaeda outsource terrorism to G4S
There were large sighs of relief today following news that security firm G4S have been put in charge of organising all of al-Qaeda’s terrorist activities for the 2012 Olympics. [read...]
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Police arrest man for using unofficial gesture at torch relay
‘Mr Drayton was arrested after being observed making unpatriotic movements with his right hand. He was waving his clenched fist vigorously up and down, in a manner calculated to cause considerable offence to our sponsors.’ [read...]