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Tickets go on sale for 2012 dads’ races
‘I was hoping to watch Usain Bolt in the men’s 100m final, but I’ll settle for seeing his dad in the 60-ish yard dash.’ [read...]
Tagged 2012
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Austerity-conscious Queen downgrades 2012 Jubilee to ‘Diamonique’
Buckingham Palace has today announced that the Queen ‘wishes to recognise the fragile state of the economy’ by downgrading her Jubilee celebrations next year from diamond to diamonique. [read...]
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Britain denies home advantage as ‘bottling it’ becomes Olympic sport
Lord Sebastian Coe has today denied that the creation of the new Olympic discipline of ‘bottling it’ was done so with the express purpose of giving the host nation a medal chance. [read...]
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Cockney rhyming slang to be third official language at London Olympics
‘wiff-waff’ apparently slang for ‘another four years as mayor’. [read...]
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UK disappointed to discover what ‘velodrome’ actually is
Crowds cheered as the ribbon was cut in East London today to mark the official opening of the 2012 Olympic Velodrome. However, the gathered dozens were soon left disenchanted upon discovering that a velodrome is just a curved track for people to ride bicycles as fast as they can. [read...]