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Posts Tagged ‘2012’

Cockney rhyming slang to be third official language at London Olympics

'wiff-waff' apparently rhyming slang for 'another four years as Mayor'‘wiff-waff’ apparently slang for ‘another four years as mayor’.

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Posted: Feb 28th, 2011
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UK disappointed to discover what ‘velodrome’ actually is

Crowds cheered as the ribbon was cut in East London today to mark the official opening of the 2012 Olympic Velodrome. However, the gathered dozens were soon left disenchanted upon discovering that a velodrome is just a curved track for people to ride bicycles as fast as they can.

The angry mob had no united view as to what they believed a velodrome was actually for, although a large majority did express the opinion that it involved futuristic men and women roller-blading and some sort of ultra-violence.

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Posted: Feb 23rd, 2011
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£100m hole in arts funding nominated for Turner Prize

collectors bidding for the pan it's disappeared downA massive deficit in the budget of the Department for Culture, Media and Sport has been shortlisted for this year’s prestigious Turner Prize.

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Posted: Jul 26th, 2009
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Dishwasher Stacking champion aiming for Gold in 2012 Middle Class Games

987-diswasher3British hopeful Paul Hobbs is being tipped to win the gold medal in the highly competitive Dishwasher Stacking event at the 2012 Middle Class Games. Hobbs has spent years perfecting his technique, and is confident he can beat all comers when the Middle Class Games come to Surrey in three years time.

Britain’s dishwasher stacking champion goes about his preparation with a fanaticism rarely seen in men in this class. ‘I don’t see stacking the dishwasher as a chore, it’s a logistical challenge,’ he says, ‘I spend hours thinking how to find a home for an awkward egg cup.’

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Posted: Feb 23rd, 2009
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Political Correctness to be 2012 Olympic sport

In a move criticised by some as a transparent ploy to increase the medal count of the home nations, Political Correctness has been put forward as a sport by the UK Olympic committee and has been officially recognised by the IOC for inclusion in the 2012 London games.

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Posted: Jul 28th, 2008
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