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Posts Tagged ‘2014 World Cup’

FIFA rules Luis Suárez must be fed before matches

'om nom nom', as they say in UruguayAfter reviewing footage of Tuesday’s incident in which Luis Suárez appeared to help himself to a chunk of Italy defender Giorgio Chiellini, Fifa has instructed the Uruguay striker’s handlers to ensure that he is ‘fed prior to all future matches’.

‘Ninety minutes is a long time to go without a snack, so it’s understandable that Luis began to feel a little peckish’, said FIFA’s head chef, Sepp Blatter. ‘Yet no matter how tasty an Italy defender may appear to a famished striker, we really must insist that he lunches before, rather than during, competitive fixtures.’

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2014
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Genuine 2012 Olympics to begin later this week in Paris

Leaked Government papers show that Britain never actually won the bid for the 2012 Olympics and the last seven years have been a sham.

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Posted: Aug 15th, 2012
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