NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘2015 general election’

Old dogs no longer funded for trick-based education

might as well just curl up and sleep on it in front of the fireThe Department for Business Innovation and Skills (BIS) has decided to cut 24% from the adult education budget to remove a culture of just ‘fetching sticks’ and looking cute. Instead, College courses will target young pups: ‘…and if they’ve not learned to catch a Frisbee in their teeth by 19, then they’ll never do it’.

A BIS spokeswoman said: ‘While we applaud adult learner’s ability to sit, heel and lick their own balls; the truth remains that many have failed to learn any new tricks. When was the last time you had someone in their thirties bring you your slippers? Too often they shit on the carpet and dry hump your leg.’

Read more >

Posted: Mar 28th, 2015
More from Education, Politics



Edinburgh hails sculpture of ‘huge pair of bollocks’ Scotland will have England by

A twenty metre bronze sculpture of a pair of English bollocks will be erected in Edinburgh’s George Square a week before the General Election. ‘The Bollocks We’ve Got England By,’ to give the artwork its full title, will show a pair of Union Jack testicles being painfully squeezed by a hand draped in a St Andrews Cross flag.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 26th, 2015
More from News In Brief



UKIP vows to repeal outdated child labour laws

'only way forward is back to the past'In an unexpected and unprecedented announcement, Nigel Farage has let slip UKIP’s plans to repeal what it called restrictive and outdated labour laws relating to the employment of children.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 12th, 2015
More from Politics



‘Yes’ on Scottish independence ‘more likely’ as Boris Johnson heads for Parliament

Alex Salmond’s campaign for an independent Scotland was bolstered this week, as Mayor of London Boris Johnson announced he’ll be standing as MP in the 2015 general election, with his eyes set firmly on Number 10.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 8th, 2014
More from Politics