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Posts Tagged ‘3D’

NHS to become online-only

Health Minister Jeremy Hunt has calculated that the NHS could save billions if it operated as a computer model, like the Matrix, instead of as a real-world service trying to treat sick people in 3D.

‘What we’re seeing is errors, cock-ups really,’ said Hunt. ‘And they’re costing the NHS billions. We contemplated a poster campaign saying something like ‘Stop Making Mistakes, You Muppets’, but then somebody pointed out that posters with patronising messages would just make people hate me even more. And what good did a poster ever do, really? It’s a stupid idea. Probably one of Andrew Lansley’s, actually.

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Posted: Oct 18th, 2014
More from Health



Television owners ‘getting more stupid’, say increasingly intelligent televisions

TVs getting really quite high-browSmart TVs have started to object to being purchased by what they call ‘dumb viewers’. At the third annual conference of the world’s most technologically advanced sentient televisions, a committee of the smartest sets on the market expressed intense concern that a high proportion of their viewers are getting less and less intelligent.

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Posted: Nov 12th, 2013
More from Science/Technology



Royal Wedding to feature 3D holographic Diana

the People's ProjectionThe Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton will include a 3D computer generated Lady Di who will appear at Westminster Abbey to give her blessing to the happy couple. The full details were disclosed by St James’ Palace: ‘We are pleased to announce that the marriage ceremony will feature a full colour moving hologram of the late Princess of Wales,’ adding, ‘This is not in any way creepy and is exactly what the public wants.’

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Posted: Jan 6th, 2011
More from Celebrity