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Posts Tagged ‘72 virgins’

72 virgins starting to nag and have needs

’60 of his nubile harem now complaining he does not ‘give enough time to the relationship’

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Posted: Jun 17th, 2015
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‘Bollocks,’ says Bin Laden, staring morosely at bowl of 72 grapes

banana 'would have been nice, at least'The soul of Osama bin Laden has admitted to ‘mild disappointment’ at finding that his reward for mass murder in the name of God in the afterlife has turned out to be 72 grapes, rather than 72 nubile virgins.

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2011
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Trading standards reports surge in complaints from disappointed Al Qaeda martyrs

They blew themselves up, in exchange for paradise. But now many Al-Qaeda martyrs say it is something of an anti-climax.

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Posted: Feb 11th, 2010
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Virgin shortage blamed for drop in suicide attacks

CIA suggesting prostitutes in the 'here and now' might possibly be more exciting alternativeProspective Muslim martyrs are being put off by an apparent shortage of available virgins in the afterlife, claims a new report. Following the attack on the Twin Towers in 2001, suicide bombings on Western interests saw a massive increase in popularity among bored, young Muslim males. This was attributed mainly to the promised attentions of 72 virgin maidens in paradise for the rest of eternity.

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Posted: Jan 11th, 2010
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