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Posts Tagged ‘9/11’

World finally agrees on international distress sign ‘AAAGH’.

In Britain it’s 999. In America it’s 911. On a submarine it’s S.O.S. In the air it’s Mayday, mayday. And in space it’s ‘Houston we have a problem’.

Amid all this confusion, it’s good to know the world will soon be able to rely on one, simple, easily recognisable, international call for help: AAAGH.

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2012
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Research says no-one gives a toss where you were on day of global news event

As people across the world put their personal spin on big global news events, shocking new statistics suggest they may be wasting their time.

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Posted: Sep 12th, 2011
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Metropolitan Police to introduce automated bomb threat phoneline

might start ringing without warningA spokesman for the Metropolitan police announced the introduction of a dedicated, automated bomb alert phoneline today. The phoneline, which will be an 0845 number, should be introduced by the end of the month.

‘Since we outsourced all emergency ’999′ calls to our call centre in Mumbai, we noticed some alarming statistics. Customers wishing to make a coded bomb threat were leaving negative feedback about the way their calls were dealt with,’ explained Chief Inspector Townsend. ‘The call centre staff just couldn’t understand many of the thick, Irish accents, or the plummy, nasal tones of animal rights extremists.’

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Posted: May 17th, 2011
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Toddlers protest at plans to build Teletubby cultural centre In the Night Garden

Britain’s toddlers have been out in force to protest against the construction of a Teletubby community centre and prayer room in the Night Garden.

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Posted: Sep 12th, 2010
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Conspiracy theorists vindicated as Ground Zero diggers uncover 18th century ship

9-11 conspiracy theorists are jubilant after last week’s unearthing of the hull of an 18th century ship at Ground Zero.

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2010
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