‘Domino’s record of having a pizza delivery boy on site within 30 minutes of the call being made, or your money back, seems to transfer well to the provision of emergency services.’
Posted: Mar 8th, 2012
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A spokesman for the Metropolitan police announced the introduction of a dedicated, automated bomb alert phoneline today. The phoneline, which will be an 0845 number, should be introduced by the end of the month.
‘Since we outsourced all emergency ’999′ calls to our call centre in Mumbai, we noticed some alarming statistics. Customers wishing to make a coded bomb threat were leaving negative feedback about the way their calls were dealt with,’ explained Chief Inspector Townsend. ‘The call centre staff just couldn’t understand many of the thick, Irish accents, or the plummy, nasal tones of animal rights extremists.’
Posted: May 17th, 2011
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‘Even in extreme cases, the risk of 3rd degree burns means it isn’t worth it.’
Posted: Mar 8th, 2009
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Tragedy was nearly averted after an 83 year old widow fell down the stairs, and her distressed cat rushed to the phone, knocked the receiver off its cradle and then dialled out for help. Sadly, instead of dialling 999 as is traditional, the cat dialled a premium rate porn line, and the kitten’s owner died some time later.
Posted: Jan 29th, 2007
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