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Posts Tagged ‘A levels’

Newspaper hacks celebrate ‘prettiest A level students ever’

‘In our day it was much more difficult to track down an attractive 18-year-old girl with good exam results to stick on the front page.’

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Posted: Aug 15th, 2014
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New English GCSE to require all answers to be less than 140-characters

Efforts to modernise the dated GCSE English syllabus have been announced by the Department for Education today. All GCSE English answers will be required to adhere to the 140-character limit to prepare students for a future in social media.

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Posted: Aug 8th, 2014
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GCSEs to be replaced with GOVEs

‘It is entirely coincidental that the proposed test rhymes with ‘cove’,’ declared the Secretary of State.

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Posted: Sep 18th, 2012
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Health Minister demands tougher eye tests

Health Minister Andrew Lansley received a largely warm reception from opticians yesterday, when he demanded eye tests become more difficult, in an effort to reverse falling sight standards.

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Posted: Sep 16th, 2011
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Parents of A-Level loser plan own gap year

taking the slow boat to Palookaville‘We’re just leaving him to it’.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2011
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