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Posts Tagged ‘abduction’

Aliens regret policy of only abducting lone weirdos

Can't learn much from a Utah farmer who's run out of gas‘In hindsight, we should probably have looked beyond suggestible loners with a history of mental health problems.’

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Posted: Sep 6th, 2014
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Gypsies failed to take young Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson’s mother, Charlotte Johnson-Wood, has revealed that she once tried to swap her son for a bunch of clothes pegs with a ‘delightfully festive-looking gypsy’ who knocked at her door at a time when she was short of change.

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Posted: Nov 1st, 2013
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Authorities remove blond haired child from Nazareth couple

Holy Land constabulary have confirmed that they have taken an ‘aryan boy’ into protective custody, after concerns that he was not living with his ‘biological’ parent.

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Posted: Oct 25th, 2013
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Verona social services slammed in under-age abduction of ‘Juliet’

she is well fit innitSocial services in Verona have come under fire following the alleged abduction of a 13-year-old girl by a notorious local teenage hoodlum. Government ministers have warned that heads will literally roll if negligence is proved. The girl has been identified as Juliet Capulet, whose family live in the centre of town. Her abductor is believed to be Romeo Montague, who was apparently well known to social workers on the rough estates of Montecchio Maggiore for pursuing vendettas against rich families. He is also believed to have sprayed “juliet iz well fit n i want to shag her 100% true’ on walls around the city.

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Posted: May 7th, 2009
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