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Posts Tagged ‘Abu Hamza’

Abu Hamza unable to play hooky in US courtroom

Islamist preacher Abu Hamza, born Mustafa Kamal Mustafa, has appeared at the US federal court in New York this week, minus his scary bits. Hamza lost his hands doing something that ‘went down a bomb in Afghanistan’ during the 1980s, however health and safety officials have ruled that he could not wear his trademark hook in court after concerns that he could ‘have someone’s eye out.’

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2014
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Abu Hamza to dodge jail term with Broadway role

It’s thought Hamza Plans shun the stereotypical pirate-based parts, preferring to seek out more upmarket roles in Chekov’s The Seagull and Waiting for Godot, as well as The Child Catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

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Posted: Oct 31st, 2012
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Abu Qatada to improve public image with ‘I’m A Celebrity’ appearance

looking forward to persuading kangaroo's testicles to follow different ideological route‘Abu is looking forward to eating testicles in the jungle, as long as they’re halal.’

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Posted: Feb 9th, 2012
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New US show ‘Guantanamo Baywatch’ criticised for simulated drowning

SnitchbatchThe new Saturday evening primetime show, Guantanamo Baywatch, has been roundly slammed by viewers and critics for a number of simulated drowning scenes in its opening episode.

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Posted: May 10th, 2011
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Mock the Week team rejoice at Abu Hamza passport appeal success

As champagne corks flew and high-fives were exchanged, Mock the Week makeweight Andy Parsons captured the mood at the topical comedy quiz show’s script meeting this week, saying, ‘this is the most relieved I’ve been since I heard Abu Hamza wasn’t going to do my prostate exam’.

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Posted: Nov 7th, 2010
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