NewsBiscuit » Accident http://www.newsbiscuit.com The news before it happens... Sat, 11 Feb 2012 23:55:20 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Split-personality man wins compensation for alter ego’s accident http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2009/12/11/split-personality-man-wins-compensation-for-alter-ego%e2%80%99s-accident/ http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2009/12/11/split-personality-man-wins-compensation-for-alter-ego%e2%80%99s-accident/#comments Fri, 11 Dec 2009 15:00:22 +0000 Guest http://www.newsbiscuit.com/?p=20077 A 48-year-old Warwickshire man with multiple personalities has won a compensation claim after one of his selves tripped on a pavement. Derek, a teetotaller, non-smoker and freemason has been awarded compensation after his alter-ego fell while chain smoking and drinking a bottle of rough cider.

But it seems the schizophrenic’s troubles might not be over. ‘Derek wants to use the compensation money to pay off his mortgage, but Suzi wants to blow it on drink, drugs and the next Goth concert,’ Ms Rodgers said. ‘There could be one hell of a fight when Derek next goes down to the Abbey National.’

ajblacker

]]> http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2009/12/11/split-personality-man-wins-compensation-for-alter-ego%e2%80%99s-accident/feed/ 0 A&E departments put on red alert for two days without sport http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2009/07/07/ae-departments-put-on-red-alert-for-two-days-without-sport/ http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2009/07/07/ae-departments-put-on-red-alert-for-two-days-without-sport/#comments Tue, 07 Jul 2009 11:00:10 +0000 Guest http://www.newsbiscuit.com/?p=15243 Accident & Emergency departments were put on the highest alert yesterday morning at the start of two whole days without sport. With Wimbledon finishing on Sunday and The Ashes not beginning until Wednesday, reports have been coming in of cack-handed men emerging from the sofa to tackle the backlog of DIY, often with devastating results.

‘We warned that this would happen’, said Liz Matthews of The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents, ‘The start of the cricket season overlapped nicely with the end of the football, and the under 21 tournament segued nicely into Wimbledon, but this gap was always a concern. We urged the authorities to arrange a darts tournament or even just a snooker friendly, but they wouldn’t listen. And now it’s carnage out there’

Exigo

 

 

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