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Posts Tagged ‘accidents’

‘Death on holiday’ tops list of things no-one has sympathy for

It'll be fine...Summer marks that time of year when British holidaymakers begin their annual cull of the most idiotic by leaping drunkenly from balconies, ignoring ski helmets or combining scuba diving with outboard motors. Those unable to afford such expensive jaunts, naturally, respond with the same levels of commiseration normally reserved for small children banging their heads on tables after being told not to run.

So apathetic are our levels of sympathy for the newly deceased on holiday that one sociologist commentated: ‘Being eaten by wild animals is natural selection for the rich, as a person of average income would never see a polar bear outside of a zoo. For those on a tight budget, they are now equating death on safari with voting for Nick Clegg – something you just brought on yourself.’

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Posted: Sep 9th, 2014
More from Lifestyle



People with Teutonic surnames urged to stay away from ski resorts

Gott im HimmelWith the recent spate of accidents involving German nationals, ski resort officials and safety experts are urging anyone with a Teutonic sounding surname to stay off the slopes.

‘Whether your name is Schmidt, Weiss, Kruft, Jaeger or Heinemann you may be in particular danger,’ said safety official, Klaus Von Gruber at a press conference in the resort of St Moritz today. ‘As a precaution we are urging you to keep away from the Alps or other snow-capped regions around the world.’

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Posted: Jan 6th, 2014
More from World News



Pensioner mistakes mineshaft for 3D pavement art

'It's a tragedy,' said BBC Midlands news spokesman, Hardeep Singh Kohli.In a tragic case of life-imitating-pavement-art, Black Country pensioner Enoch Beasley fell into a massive mineshaft which had opened up in front of his local pub, The Miner’s Arms in Tipton.

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Posted: Mar 3rd, 2013
More from UK News



Hounslow man sees trampoline gift for kids as sound investment

‘I just need to film two amusing accidents and get them shown on You’ve Been Framed, then it’s paid for itself.’

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Posted: Dec 31st, 2010
More from News In Brief