Thousands of celebrities audition for ‘America’s Next Top Accountant’
‘I always had this secret dream that I might one day work in some area of financial management’ said Beyonce
Posted: Feb 22nd, 2010
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Accountant ‘to join Chippendales’ after sensational airport security performance
Nigel Weston, a 43-year-old accountant from Cricklewood, was approached by a talent spotter from the male exotic dance troupe the Chippendales after a ‘raunchy and erotically mesmerising’ performance at the security gates of Dublin airport.
Posted: Aug 2nd, 2009
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Telegraph withdraws expense claim allegations ‘after doing the figures again’
The Daily Telegraph has issued a front-page apology over the expenses allegations after discovering that its political staff ‘hadn’t read the second column correctly.’
‘In recent weeks, we may have given the impression that the House of Commons is stuffed to the rafters with filthy, rapacious grubbers sponging off the taxpayer to feed their indolent lives of immoral luxury,’ the newspaper’s editorial declares. ‘In fact, it turns out that the whole story was written up by a spotty 17-year-old intern who couldn’t read the figures properly and left out the middle column of numbers. Our MPs are in fact the same fine group of distinguished gentlemen and ladies that they have always been. We hope the mistake hasn’t caused any inconvenience.’
Posted: Jun 7th, 2009
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