The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘addiction’

Staplers to be made illegal

Finally, an end to 'lock and load'Thousands of office workers today had to make the choice between flushing their staplers down the toilet or facing the wrath of the police, as it was announced that the Government has made the possession of a stapler a criminal offence.

Speaking to the press earlier, Prime Minister David Cameron said ‘Staples are sharp, dangerous, and highly addictive. A staple-user is not only a menace to himself, but also to society. Before long a user will find himself sleeping in the gutter, cackling madly to the pigeons as he staples sodden Metros to leaflets about the salvation of Jehovah.’

Read more >

Posted: Jul 16th, 2015
More from UK News

Candy Crush addict admits selling body online for ‘extra lives’

will the torment never end?!A long-suffering London housewife has today spoken of her desperation at dealing with her husband’s severe Candy Crush addiction, claiming that her home life has now become ‘unbearable’.

Patricia Willcox, a 46-year-old from Tooting, said she first noticed the extent of Brian’s issues with the popular ‘match-three’ game, when she discovered the 51-year-old ‘entertaining strangers’ via webcam, in return for extra ‘lives’ on Christmas Eve. ‘It got to the point where I couldn’t bear to be with him any more.’ said exasperated Patricia. ‘When your loving husband of twelve-years snubs your home cooked food in favour of a bag of Skittles, you know something’s wrong.’

Read more >

Posted: Jan 9th, 2014
More from Lifestyle

Cigarettes ‘could help people quit hypnotherapy’

resistance is futile, but manageableJust seven sessions a week, standing outside a pub sharing lighters with complete strangers, gave Susan the confidence to talk to people she didn’t know. ‘I’m much more outgoing now and can make friends with anyone. If I ever feel a bit low, I pop outside, stick a fag in my mouth and start cadging a light off passers by. It’s a ritual that really works,’ says Susan.

Read more >

Posted: Oct 24th, 2013
More from Science/Technology

‘Weird old weight loss tip’ advertised on internet turns out to be heroin addiction

choose lite‘It turns out that ‘Paul from Glasgow’ does exist and really did lose the weight, but when we found him in a bedsit he was sitting in his own filth, injecting heroin between his toes and hadn’t eaten for three days.’

Read more >

Posted: Mar 4th, 2013
More from Health