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Posts Tagged ‘Adolf Hitler’

Abu Qatada officially ‘harder to remove than Hitler’

Experts have confirmed that at 8 years of trying to deport Muslim cleric Abu Qatada – compared to the the second world war’s 6 year duration – it was easier to kick Hitler out of Western Europe than it is to throw Abu Qatada out of the UK.

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Posted: Mar 31st, 2013
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Internet now with ‘Auto-Adolf-Comparison’ feature

It is a rule of any political debate that if it goes on long enough one party will compare the other to Adolf Hitler, instantly losing the debate. Now to speed up the process, a new internet feature is being activated which auto-corrects all similes and metaphors so that they reference Hitler.

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Posted: Jun 5th, 2012
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Health and Safety Nazis invade Poland

Tabloid columnists were up in arms today after battalions of overzealous health and safety officials – dubbed ‘Health and Safety Nazis’ – were seen marching across the Polish border wearing hard hats and high-visibility jackets, and armed to the teeth with clipboards and pens.

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Posted: Nov 5th, 2011
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Historians thrilled at discovery of Hitler’s mixtapes

Every historian longs for the discovery of journals or letters from the hand of a key historical figure and today the historical community was buzzing with news of the discovery of Hitler’s mixtapes, which will doubtless reveal further insights into the character of one of history’s most infamous names.

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Posted: Oct 7th, 2011
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Relief as Hitler clone turns out to be a complete bastard

Far-right extremists are breathing a sigh of relief today, after the last remaining clone of Hitler was officially recognised as a ‘complete bastard’. Nigel Hitler, 51, was originally cloned from cells taken from the Fuhrer’s brain by a secret cabal of Nazi scientists. The ‘little Hitler’ was then smuggled into the UK to be raised by middle-class foster parents.

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Posted: Apr 22nd, 2010
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