The woman, known only as Customer A, was overheard in a local branch of Superdrug openly questioning whether L’Oreal’s latest anti-ageing product really did contain Scientifically-Proven Revivifying Serum and Natural Wrinkle Dermagenerating Mousse, as its latest ad claims.

The news comes just days after a 48-year-old single man in Portsmouth told a shop assistant in Tesco that he wasn’t entirely sure that buying a Gillette Fusion Power razor would necessarily give him the smoothest shave in the world, rippling abs or a sexy blonde to squeeze him from behind in the bathroom.

‘Only one or two freakishly clever women have ever questioned what Jane Fonda says about revitalift molecules in our ads before,’ said a L’Oreal spokesman. ‘This is going to cause some furrowed brows at corporate headquarters. Better get the Anti-Stress Ensmoothening Lotion out.’

Maybe should have used sign language

The Advertising Standards Authority has reacted swiftly after an outbreak of deafness in Norwich was traced to a hearing aid advert broadcast on a local radio station at many times the normal volume.  The advert, featuring a man shouting ‘ARE YOU HARD OF HEARING?’, left one person with bleeding ears and a number answering, ‘I am now.’

The ASA dismissed the suggestion by Ears-R-Us that their target market necessitated the extra volume.  This is the second time the struggling company has been before the ASA after they attempted to convince listeners they had lost their hearing through an advertising campaign of 30-second silences.

The incident occurred during the 7 o’clock commercial break, ‘mum’, portrayed by actress Sarah Dawson, was extolling the virtues of ‘Glide’: a new product that can be used both as a washing powder and a dishwasher detergent. However her enthusiastic endorsement quickly turned to anger with the appearance of her mud splattered ‘son’, a child actor who has remained nameless for legal reasons.

‘For years I’ve had to put up with these bloody kids,’ complained Ms. Dawson, ‘they run in covered in shit and give you this cheeky grin. If they were my children I’d give them a good clip ’round the ear, but no – I have to smile indulgently and lovingly ruffle their hair before bunging their dirty clothes into the washing machine for the umpteenth time.’

‘This brat was the last straw’ she continued, ‘not only was he filthy, but the little sod let the dog in to traipse all over my nice clean floor and then tried to put his bloody scooter into the dishwasher! I’m sorry, but if any kid of mine did that I’d tan their hides good and proper, so that’s what I did.’

Now the subject of a full ASA enquiry, Ms. Dawson admits that her actions have caused advertisement work to dry up, and that she has been dropped from the Inanemums4U casting agency. She is currently auditioning for a part in the ‘Horrid Henry’ series for CBeebies, where she promises to be firm but fair ‘as far as that little bastard is concerned’.