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Posts Tagged ‘Afghanistan’

Taliban leaders condemn ‘Daily Mail Law’ as barbaric and inhuman

A coalition of Taliban Leaders announced today their opposition to the ‘barbaric and inhuman’ regime of ‘Daily Mail Law’ and said they would be campaigning against its adoption in parts of Afghanistan.

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Posted: Dec 16th, 2011
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Troops withdrawn from Afghanistan after failing health and safety workplace assessment

‘If we’d known that soldiers weren’t being provided with the correct style of ergonomic chair or that the temperature in the workplace was so high, we’d have shut the place down in a jiffy.’

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Posted: Dec 10th, 2011
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Bomb disposal engineers to help elderly switch on central heating

should only be attempted by trained professionals with counsellors on standbyThe government is deploying crack army bomb disposal units to help Britain’s elderly switch on their central heating this winter. 
Fred (86) and Ethel (85) Wilkinson said they’ve been trying since September to switch on their central heating but ‘when it came to turning the switch our nerve failed and we went back to wrapping ourselves in tin-foil and old newspapers’.

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Posted: Oct 12th, 2011
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Military careers day successfully avoids mention of chances of being shot

A major UK Armed Forces Careers Day was declared a success by military chiefs after it passed without one reference to the reasonably high probability of becoming a fatality statistic upon signing up. The joint careers effort from Britain’s army, navy and air force focused on learning a trade and ‘softer’ subjects including adventure training and the comparative ‘scoring potential’ of the different uniforms.

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Posted: Jul 31st, 2011
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Piers Morgan to make ‘informal’ morale-boosting Afghan tour

Piers Morgan is to make a tour of the most dangerous areas of Afghanistan at the invitation of the British armed forces, which they hope could prove ‘a major boost for morale.’

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2011
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