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London’s new airport will be underground, promises Boris Johnson
A high-speed tunnel leading to the runway will start at Dover, marked by a giant bullseye on the white cliffs. [read...]
Tagged air travel
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easyJet to introduce pre-cancelled flights
In a bold move to reduce the amount of time that passengers spend waiting for flights that never take off, Easyjet are to introduce the pre-cancelled flight. Hours of frustrating and pointless waiting will be eliminated and delays could be made a thing of the past. [read...]
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New legislation states ‘no boarding a plane unless you’re shitting yourself’
Under new government guidelines to counter terrorism, new laws were passed yesterday to make sure that nobody can set foot aboard an international flight unless they are deemed by airport officials to be ‘fearing for their life’. [read...]
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Teenagers on work experience banned from air traffic control
‘You had to get these little planes on the screen onto this, like, narrow strip? It’s not as good as Grand Theft Auto, cos you only get one life.’ [read...]
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Ryanair to charge for ‘emotional baggage’
‘Ryanair will have a strict rule of ‘one simple divorce case per passenger.’ [read...]