In an effort to stop terrorists from smuggling contraband inside their clothes, UK passengers will now have to wear leotards for all international flights. Fat or large-breasted flyers will be made to jiggle up and down at the scanners.
Posted: Sep 28th, 2011
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Camp protocol droid C-3PO has blamed his spare set of car keys for his disastrous attempt to get through airport security yesterday.
Posted: Mar 16th, 2011
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Members of the public will be expected to pat themselves down and peer inside their own shoes, before going through a doorway and saying ‘bleep’ loudly if they are carrying any metal items.
Posted: Nov 2nd, 2010
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The proposed new x-ray machines that will enable staff to see through passengers’ clothes at airports were criticised today by distinguished entertainers Sooty and Sweep.
Posted: Jan 7th, 2010
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A man was detained at Stansted Airport yesterday on suspicion of being a terrorist after he answered routine security questions about his baggage without looking suspicious.
Posted: Sep 23rd, 2009
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