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The government put on a special homoerotic display of force in the capital this week, as boats loaded with heavily armed burly looking men roamed the waters of London. Sailing down the Thames with expensive looking weaponry, groups of professional psychopaths wanted to make an effort to reassure Daily Mail readers, as well as scare ‘anyone who looks foreign’, as a neurotic capital prepares to go fully hysterical about the prospect of terrorism during the Olympics.

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2012
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Qari Ahmadullah, 47, a district commander and community outreach worker in Kandahar province, has hailed the success of a pilot scheme to supply local teenagers with laptops and access to the internet.

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Posted: Jan 16th, 2012
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As people across the world put their personal spin on big global news events, shocking new statistics suggest they may be wasting their time.

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Posted: Sep 12th, 2011
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The soul of Osama bin Laden has admitted to ‘mild disappointment’ at finding that his reward for mass murder in the name of God in the afterlife has turned out to be 72 grapes, rather than 72 nubile virgins.

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2011
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The American government has confirmed that they intend to clone a new version of Osama bin Laden who will be made to stand trial, be found guilty and then executed all over again. ‘Many people were delighted when they heard that we had shot bin Laden,’ said President Obama, ‘but, at the same time, a lot of people also wanted to see him face trial for his crimes. Cloning bin Laden gives everyone what they want.’

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Posted: Jun 21st, 2011
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