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Posts Tagged ‘Al Qaeda’

Pools panel declare War on Terror ‘Away Win’

Panel doesn’t usually do internationals.

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Posted: Oct 9th, 2014
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Drumbeat of terrorism level raised to ’4:4 time’

Following the arrest of four suspected jihadists in London yesterday, Met Police Commissioner Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe warned that the level of the ‘drumbeat of terrorism’ has been raised to 4:4 time ‘at a steady 80 beats per minute’.

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Posted: Oct 8th, 2014
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Poshmerga forces take Harrogate. Declare balsamic law.

After a day of heavy fighting, the new middle-class terror group has proclaimed itself ruler of Harrogate, Ripon and Knaresborough. A ‘Poshmerga’ spokesperson, identified only as ‘Debbie from Marketing’ said they were now consolidating their position, but a column of Range Rovers was observed this afternoon, headed towards Skipton.

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Posted: Sep 4th, 2014
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Dropping box-sets of ‘Fame’ on jihadists ‘last desperate throw of dice’ admits US

fame costs... and here's where you start payingThe Pentagon has revealed that US military planes have dropped box-sets of 80′s TV series ‘Fame’ in areas of Iraq currently controlled by Islamic militants. The move is seen as a daring attempt to soften the jihadist’s hard-line approach and move the fighting away from fundamentalist savagery to a more danced-based conflict.

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2014
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Government raises UK bullshit threat level to ‘severe’

The UK’s bullshit threat level has been raised from ‘substantial’ to ‘severe’ meaning that the possibility of impending bullshit is highly likely.

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2014
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