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Posts Tagged ‘Al Qaeda’

Malala ‘a saddo loser’ say British schoolkids

'she actually WANTS to go to school!'Schoolchildren up and down Britain are still struggling to come to terms with the acclaim accorded to Malala Yousafzai, a Pakistani school pupil and activist blogger who was shot in the head by the Taliban in 2011 for campaigning for girls’ education rights. They have unanimously agreed that her conduct is ‘well rank’ and that she should have been grateful not to have to sit through double Maths every Tuesday morning.

Malala’s courage and determination has earned her acclaim all over the world. Since her miraculous survival, she has been instrumental in the ratification of Pakistan’s first Right to Education Bill, was named one of Time Magazine’s ’100 Most Influential People in the World’ and was nominated for the 2013 Nobel Peace Prize among many other things. However, British teenagers have dismissed all this as ‘totally gay’.

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Posted: Dec 4th, 2013
More from Education



Amazon to weaponize Christmas shopping

can drop it on your lawn if you're outFans of online shopping will soon see unmanned drones dropping a range of seasonal products upon their heads; with Syria already registering an interest in the express of delivery of 800 tonnes of ‘fake snow’. Chief Executive Jeff Bezos has promised, within five years, we can expect to see ‘Octocopters’ depositing 2.3kg packages on unsuspecting schools, wedding parties and terrorists in search of cut price DVDs.

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Posted: Dec 2nd, 2013
More from Business



Al-Qaeda postpones terror campaign until end of Strictly and X-Factor

bombing Dusseldorf to wait until Anne's danced the rumbaAl-Qaeda is struggling to secure sufficient numbers of bombers during the current series of Strictly Come Dancing and X-Factor.

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Posted: Nov 25th, 2013
More from From The Archives



Man evades police surveillance by dressing up as Zsa Zsa Gabor

An arrest warrant has been issued for the capture of a man who evaded police surveillance and escaped from a baker’s in Keighley, West Yorkshire by disguising himself as Zsa Zsa Gabor.

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Posted: Nov 24th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Party poppers to be banned at Abu Qatada’s leaving party

No street parties!The Home Office has announced that party poppers and balloons will be banned at Abu Qatada’s forthcoming leaving party at Belmarsh Prison on Saturday night.

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Posted: Jul 4th, 2013
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