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Posts Tagged ‘Al Qaeda’

Gareth Malone to form Taliban Choir

‘Everyone thinks that the situation in Afghanistan is hopeless, but we should try harnessing the healing power of group singing, and selling lots of albums.’

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Posted: Oct 2nd, 2012
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Olympic terror threat level reduced after al-Qaeda outsource terrorism to G4S

There were large sighs of relief today following news that security firm G4S have been put in charge of organising all of al-Qaeda’s terrorist activities for the 2012 Olympics.

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Posted: Jul 26th, 2012
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Robert Peston deployed to Afghanistan as a manned drone

He's NEV-er seen ANythinggg! LIKE it‘Peston’s role will be to reconnoitre enemy terrain, identify Taliban insurgents and then subdue them by talking for hours in his excruciatingly slow, dull monotone,’ explained the Defence Secretary.

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Posted: Jul 12th, 2012
More from UK News



New microfibre-semtex hybrid ‘makes incendiary pantyline less visible’

A new to-die-for range of incendiary panty line brief bombs threatens to fly off the shelves at outlets of the Taliban’s favourite shop, Martyrs and Spinsters.

The range of exploding underwear, a mixture of Semtex and wearable microfibres, promises to lift and separate martyrs like never before. ‘With these pants your buttocks will end up in different post codes,’ says one designer who worked on the new range, ‘and you’ll be lifted into paradise in no time.’

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Posted: May 11th, 2012
More from Lifestyle



Bin Laden papers show a man ‘persuaded that America is best’

Health care proposals 'brilliant', says dead terroristNewly released papers from Osama Bin Laden’s hideout reveal a leader living in fear of the ‘mad skillz’ of the US Navy SEALs and struggling to control an unruly network, the US military says.

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Posted: May 10th, 2012
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