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Posts Tagged ‘Alan Johnson’

House of Commons ‘black-eyed babbling ghoul’ turns out to be Ed Miliband

The Phantom of the Parliament. 'A shadow of himself...'Former Home Secretary Johnson Alan Johnson revealed today that the spectral, black-eyed ‘lost soul’ seen haunting the corridors of the Palace of Westminster over the last few months is, in fact, Labour Party leader Ed Miliband.

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Posted: Oct 19th, 2014
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Calls for Eurovision Song Contest to adopt AV

‘Why have we been coming last all the time? Because we’re unpopular or the songs are atonal crap? Of course not, it’s because the voting system used is deeply flawed.’

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Posted: Mar 11th, 2011
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Ed Balls must wear Hannibal Lecter mask at all times, says Miliband

'chomping at the bit' in his new roleThe Shadow Chancellor is regarded as so dangerous that whenever he appears in public he must wear a face mask, straitjacket and be wheeled everywhere on a trolley.

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Posted: Jan 26th, 2011
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‘Being Shadow Chancellor interfered with my post round,’ claims Alan Johnson

Labour’s former Shadow Chancellor, Alan Johnson, yesterday stepped down from frontline politics to spend more time doing his post round.

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Posted: Jan 21st, 2011
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Labour ‘way behind’ on plan for five years of squabbling and recrimination

Senior Labour figures have insisted the party is ‘still on track’ to fill its coming decades of opposition with customary infighting and political bloodletting, despite a tediously uncontroversial and jolly summer.

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Posted: Nov 15th, 2010
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