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Posts Tagged ‘alan sugar’

Apprentice 2014 to feature ‘authentic business treats’

‘These youngsters should experience the rewards of my early career: a hotel room that doesn’t always smell of cat’s piss, an evening in the company of a 30-something lady called Michelle who laughed at my every joke and a pay-to-hire Betamax that appeared on the hotel bill as ‘telex services’.’

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Posted: Aug 9th, 2013
More from Arts/Entertainment



HR genius devises job advert able to deter all but deluded bullshitters

A team of boffins in a Human Resources lab claims it has created the perfect advert to screen out almost all normal people and attract a 99 per cent pure audience of bullshitters, deluded chancers and would-be Apprentices to Alan Sugar.

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Posted: Aug 2nd, 2013
More from News In Brief



Next Man United boss decided ‘Apprentice-style’

time's upThe successor to Sralex Ferguson as the manager of Manchester United has been chosen via a series of elimination tests, resulting in many hopeful managers losing any chance of ever enjoying ‘the big time’. Throughout the season, a large number of eager applicants with ridiculously over-inflated opinions of their abilities have been trialled but have failed spectacularly, and been summarily dismissed with the chilling words: ‘You’re fired’.

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Posted: May 9th, 2013
More from Arts/Entertainment, Sport



Britain fears it could be next as Lord Sugar tells Italy ‘You’re fired’

under the old rules, Italy would have walked it‘Britain, you were hopeless in the Party Organisation challenge,’ said Lord Sugar. ‘You stood in the corner afraid to talk to anyone, then downed 12 pints of lager, tried to start a fight with France and vomited on your shoes. You really need to up your game.’

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Posted: Jul 20th, 2011
More from UK News



Liberal Democrats ‘will be more like Apprentice contestants’, promises Clegg

"a bloody shambles"Nick Clegg, the embattled Liberal Democrat leader, has promised that his party will be ‘more like Apprentice contestants’ as the Coalition government enters a ‘more businesslike’ phase.

‘The bottom line is that the Liberal Democrats just weren’t pushy or irritating enough to win over voters at last week’s local elections,’ said Clegg. ‘And as Sir Alan would tell you, in business it’s all about the bottom line. So the Liberal Democrats are going to step up to the plate, give it 150 per cent, think outside the box and deliver incredible results.’

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Posted: May 13th, 2011
More from Politics