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Posts Tagged ‘Alex Salmond’

Scotland to be allowed to choose their own plot directions in EastEnders

'it ain't wurf it'In yet another concession towards Scottish nationalists, Westminster has announced that from Summer 2015 Holyrood will be able to take control of plot and character development in the version of EastEnders broadcast in Scotland.

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Posted: Nov 28th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment, Politics



Nicola Sturgeon vows ‘No more fishy surnames’

Scotland’s new first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, has vowed that she will not be continuing the practice of selecting senior SNP positions based on how fishy their surname is. Her announcement is widely seen as an attempt to distance herself from her predecessor, Alex Salmon.

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Posted: Nov 21st, 2014
More from News In Brief



‘Actually we won,’ claims SNP

‘Truth is, we ran rings around them Sassenachs,’ he said in a confidential briefing, about to be published in Wikileaks. ‘We didnae want full independence – that was just a negotiating ploy. We wanted more tax powers, more oil revenue and less interference from London. We got a’ that and more.’

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Posted: Sep 21st, 2014
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Relieved Scottish voters finally able to get referendum campaigners to shut up

Och aye the no!After months of harassment, voters in Scotland are finally going to the polls in a last-ditch attempt to get the Yes and No campaigns to shut up and bugger off.

As the polls open after an increasingly ill-tempered campaign, the sense of relief among ordinary Scots is palpable. ‘I’m just glad it’s all over and I can get mah country back,’ said a tearful voter in Anstruther.’When I was growing up nobody gave a dram o’Dundee piss about politics. Now it’s all Yes this, No Thanks that, whose oil is it the other. That’s why I’m voting ‘feck off, ye boring gobshites’.’

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Posted: Sep 17th, 2014
More from Politics



Poundland warns Scots about the price of independence

The Chief Executive of Scotland’s premier purveyor of luxury foodstuffs, Poundland, has joined in the referendum debate. CEO Mr. John Bull has been lobbying Downing Street to relent over their hard line stance about currency union in the wake off a ’yes’ vote in next week’s referendum, but with little success.

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Posted: Sep 13th, 2014
More from News In Brief