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Posts Tagged ‘Alex Salmond’

Independent Scotland ‘will never know sex of Royal baby’, says PM

Won't be called Alex, that's for sureDavid Cameron has denied that the campaign against Scottish independence has ‘run out of ideas’ today by announcing that an independent Scotland will ‘never find out’ what sex the new Royal baby turns out to be. ‘I won’t tell you whether it’s a girl or a boy, and you won’t be able to watch BBC News 24 to find out either,’ the prime minister said at a Better Together hustings in Dumfries. ‘And don’t expect the Queen to tell you either, if you vote yes she’ll be bloody furious.’

The Royal baby news has caused an otherwise leaden referendum campaign to explode into life. Scottish Labour MP Jim Murphy has returned to his tedious tour of Scotland’s high streets, temporarily abandoned last week after an egg-throwing voter accused him of ‘not talking about the Royal family enough’.

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Posted: Sep 8th, 2014
More from Politics



Salmond proposes ‘Mars Bar currency’

Amid the furore about keeping the pound as its currency and the confirmation that it could take ‘over five years’ to join the EU, Alex Salmond has revealed that the Mars Bar would be an interim currency.

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Posted: Sep 8th, 2014
More from News In Brief



UK starts advertising for Scotland’s replacement

Your place or mine? Actually, mine.In the aftermath of Alex Salmond shouting Alistair Darling into submission, the remaining parts of the British Isles have resigned themselves to the fact that its time ‘to move on’ and start seeing other countries.

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Posted: Aug 26th, 2014
More from UK News



The rest of the world needs to stop depressing us, complains UK‏

By steadfastly focusing on gloom in Ukraine, Iraq, Gaza and West Africa, the world’s general grumpiness has detracted from the UK’s enjoyment of a new Dr Who, Kate Bush in concert and the anticipation of Mario Balotelli going ‘bat shit crazy’ at Liverpool.

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Posted: Aug 26th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Second Salmond-Darling debate to be decided by bake-off

In a bid to make the forthcoming debate between Alex Salmond and Alistair Darling more interesting to viewers outside Scotland, the BBC has announced that the debate over the pros and cons of Scottish independence will incorporate a bake-off.

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Posted: Aug 16th, 2014
More from News In Brief