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Posts Tagged ‘aliens’

Scientists abandon search for life at utility company call centres

‘After spending 40 minutes listening to hold music, we’re better off trying to contact extra terrestrials many light years from earth,’ concluded scientists.

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2015
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Aliens discovered on Earth, being educated at Eton

Maths professor Alan Daley has worked out the true cause of crop circles after his son started attending a minor public school in Kent and he began to delve into the complex maths of how public schools structure their fees.

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Posted: Sep 28th, 2014
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UKIP demands tighter borders until Flight MH370 found

Nigel Farage has demanded that the UK Borders Agency should to tighten border controls as the search for flight MH370 continues. The flight disappeared from radar screens en route from Kuala Lumpur to Beijng last Saturday leading to conspiracy theories of kidnap, aliens or an elaborate attempt to enter Britain.

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Posted: Mar 14th, 2014
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Aliens ‘cutting down visits to Earth’ since introduction of camera phones

A representative of various alien species has said that they’ve decided to give Earth a wide berth now that high quality cameras included in mobile phones mean that anyone they abduct can prove it, which is taking all the fun away.

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Posted: Jan 22nd, 2013
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‘We never visited because we hate The Carpenters’ say aliens

Aliens have confirmed that they’ve never landed on Earth because they can’t stomach easy listening music. ‘We buzzed a Lighthouse Family concert in Tunbridge Wells and thought “Has it really come to this?”’ said a spokesextraterrestrial.

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Posted: Oct 18th, 2012
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