Supermarket Waitrose has extended its range of ‘Essentials’ food, to include several expensive products, such as foie gras, bluefin tuna, kobe beef, fugi and lobster, which had previously been beyond the means of bonus-less hedge fund managers and venture capitalists.
Posted: Jan 28th, 2010
More from News In Brief
The bonfire set up at the UK treasury to celebrate Guy Fawkes night could burn for weeks if not months, insiders have revealed. The party, held in the basement, is a traditionally festive occasion with lots of Punch and Judy going on and massive fireworks when Gordon Brown gets told he can’t have another sparkler.
‘It’s wonderful isn’t it,’ said Chancellor Alistair Darling, basking in the warm glow of the fire, ‘we’ve been scooping up lots and lots of cash in preparation and were supposed to burn it all in one go. Then Mervyn turns up with another £25 billion in hundreds of wheelbarrows and now it’ll probably keep going till Christmas.’
Posted: Nov 5th, 2009
More from Business
In a radical move to outwit the Tories, Alistair Darling has declared that Labour will not after all be considering any cuts in public expenditure. ‘Instead, I’m increasing expenditure by buying a bucket of sand to put my head in,’ he said in a pre-budget statement.
Posted: Sep 29th, 2009
More from News In Brief
Just days after Parliament broke up for the summer recess, parents of MPs are already wondering how on earth they are meant to occupy their children until the House of Commons re-opens in October. After the initial novelty of spending some time with their Members of Parliament again, desperate parents were today seen outside the gates of the Palace of Westminster begging police officers to let their children back in on the grounds that they’d ‘forgotten their lunchboxes’.
‘It’s absurd that they get so long off,’ said Alan Duncan’s father today. ‘All he’s doing is sitting around the house watching repeats on the Parliament Channel.’
Posted: Jul 24th, 2009
More from Politics
Alistair Darling has announced that the Government is to hand over management of the economy and day to day running of domestic affairs to the supermarket giant Tesco. The decision was revealed to MPs during the Chancellor’s Budget Speech which was the last to take place in the House of Commons before it is converted to a Tesco Metro.
