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Posts Tagged ‘Amal Alamuddin’

Daily Mail joins long list of Clooney rejects

Read it and weepFollowing in the petite footsteps of Lisa Snowden, the Mail Online has been forced to finally accept that the ‘grey fox’, George Clooney, will never hold them in his big strong arms.

The newspaper’s jealous response to Mr. Clooney’s engagement to Amal Alamuddin has led to Clooney refusing to accept phone calls, bouquets of roses and romantic editorials about ‘stinky immigrants’ from the lovesick tabloid.

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Posted: Jul 13th, 2014
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All women stop shaving their legs now Clooney is engaged

Massey Pre-Nup 'has never been broken'Unbeknownst to most married men, their wives for years have only been ‘making an effort’ just on the off chance that heart-throb George Clooney would make ‘a booty call’. Even single ladies have ‘ceased to wash’ now that it has been revealed that Mr. Clooney is ‘off the market’.

Reports that he will wed his girlfriend, lawyer Amal Alamuddin, have resulted in women of all sexualities losing the motivation to ‘get out of bed’, remove their baggy comfort t-shirt or restrain from ‘farting in confined spaces’.

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Posted: Apr 29th, 2014
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