Concerns over the wilful destruction of the world’s main source of oxygen may be premature, as Rodell Clarke (43) has planted a new ‘Forest Pansy’ in his front garden. Measuring 5m fully grown, Mr Clarke’s Cercis Canadensis is the perfect size to offset 477,698,000 hectares of Brazilian eco-system. [read...]
Retailers have announced their Christmas sales predictions today, revealing that Princess Anne has a ‘strong chance’ of reaching the festive top spot for December book sales with the launch of her debut cookbook, [read...]
The Prime Minister has announced that everyone in the UK is now a millionaire, with their own unicorn and any perception that everything is still ‘shit’ is simply the result of eating hallucinogenic mushrooms. Any sightings of food banks are purely coincidental and the 268% increase in rough sleepers is caused by ‘glamping for tramps’…. [read...]
Amazon has warned its customers to be ‘vigilant’ against scam emails. ‘Just because it says Amazon in the heading, and final demand in the text, it doesn’t mean you really owe HMRC billions of pounds,’ [read...]
Following the signing of former Top Gear presenters Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May, online retail and media giant Amazon have announced plans to ‘physically stream’ the maverick trio into viewers’ homes via Prime Air drones. [read...]
