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Posts Tagged ‘amputation’

Lose a leg for us this Dismember, urges charity

A local charity is raising awareness of its cause by calling the twelfth month of the year ‘Dismember’ and urging the public to ‘chop one off for us’, it was confirmed yesterday. ‘It doesn’t have to be a whole arm or leg – just below the knee or elbow would be fine’ said a spokesman. ‘It could even be your little fella – we don’t mind what you do as long as you Instagram the panicked reaction of your colleagues when blood starts spurting all over the office breakout area’.

The Carshalton Pet Bereavement Counselling Service is asking volunteers to raise a minimum of £1000 in sponsorship to fund a joining pack comprising a small chainsaw, a large tourniquet, and a wipe-clean leaflet explaining how, for many, losing a pet can be ‘literally like losing a limb’.

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Posted: Nov 29th, 2013
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Aromatherapists ‘winning the war’ on limb replacement treatment

Aromatherapist claimed that a ‘woman in Japan’ had re-attached the arm of a man by using a ‘jasmine and lavender infusion.’

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Posted: Jul 15th, 2007
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